Welcome and thank you for visiting my Fourth Way blog. If you are visiting here the first time please take a look at my initial posts from December 2016 to January 2017 in chronological order, stating with the below post: POURING OUT WHAT I AM.
Fate…
guided me into a journey
of the Fourth Way tradition
a theme of my life
that was prearranged
I can see now.
I have searched,
devoted my life
to find the answer to the questions
What am I…?
What is the meaning of life…?
What is this all about…?
with an utter desire to awaken
from this sleep we are in.
I DESIRE TO AWAKE
___
Now the time has come.
I have gained enough for myself,
and “my personal” evolution does not make sense any more.
I simply desire to share
what I have learned,
what I have experienced
through my journey,
with the world,
with the people
who are seeking just like me,
regardless of whether
if you find anything useful in my writings or not.
Because I cannot,
not to do so any more.
I am pouring out what I am.
State of self-remembering is the state of “I AM”, the state of “I EXIST”.
‘It’ happened on the night of September 11, 2002. I went to bed around midnight that night. Lying down, a point of orgasm arose from inside my lower abdomen. Then the orgasm spread into my entire body, into every cells of my body…a whole body orgasm. I was filled with orgasmic, intense positive energy. It burnt my entire body.
The orgasm lasted about 20 min. When the orgasm subsided I was totally a different man – transmuted. I was new. I was awake. I was present. And inextinguishable awareness was born in myself.
A person who was there before simply disappeared. A new inextinguishable awareness came in and took over my body.
An enlightenment….so it happened.
‘You’ that desiring to awake,
‘You’ that earnestly working on yourself,
‘You’ that making effort to remember yourself, trying not to express negative emotions, and trying not to identify,
‘You’ that feeling noble emotions,
‘You’ that you are perceiving as you,
the person you call ‘I’.
These are still “group of I’s”, perhaps developed to the level of deputy steward or steward through years of work, but still a part of a machine — a machine which believing one day it will awake through all these efforts.
But you are in a true sense a machine.
And a machine will not awake.
Whatever you do, ‘you’ will not awake.
It is not this ‘you’ which will awake.
enlightenment…
happens as a result of battles inside of you…
light and darkness
feeling and seeing your weakness…manifested….
and feeling…something is not right….
I do not want to be like this….
but…weakness wins…..
seeing myself doing things because of fear…
because of feminine dominance…
while feeling something is not right…
fear of losing control….
control of others, control of what might happen to me, control of energetic balance between friends…
while feeling something is not right…
Struggle of the Magicians…battle of darkness and light
After year after year of battles, weakness…still wins…
feels helpless….
but you did not know….
light was growing stronger inside of you.
One day, the day comes…when you put all your courage, all your might, all your trust, and say
I cannot go on like this anymore.
I choose to surrender…
I surrender to my light…
I surrender to my trust…
I surrender to the forces guiding me…
I surrender to my pureness…
Let it be so if my life collapse because of this…..
Let it be so if I lose friends…..
Let it be so whatever happens because of this.
Let it be so.
But I choose to surrender……to my light.
Suddenly….you find…lightness….freedom….happiness…smile….and love…inside of you.
You encounter weakness yet again…
light struggles…..
wins sometime…lose…still often….
yet light is stronger….
growing stronger…..
For most of us, even after decades of work, our ‘base’ state of consciousness is 2nd state. We spend most of the day in sleep and making effort to have moments of being present and self-remembering.
But one day your work will be opposite.
Your ‘base’, natural state will be ‘being in the present’, a state of self-remembering, and your work will be not to fall asleep. You will catch yourself when you fall asleep momentarily and you will simply bring yourself back to the present, to the state of self-remembering. Because that is your natural state.
Can you imagine?
Many of us are so identified with achieving ‘my’ enlightenment, ‘my’ spiritual evolution, and compare consciously or unconsciously the level of being with others.
…..when there is no such a thing as ‘my’ evolution or achievement.
Idea and sense of ‘my’ is an illusion created by your ego. It is your ego itself. It is your lower self. You have been wondrously tricked by your ego, made you believe it is you.
An enlightenment, when it happens to a person, it is a celebration of all humanity. An enlightenment does not belong to that person. It is not an achievement of that person. It is an achievement of all humanity, a grand celebration of all humanity.
“OH MY GOD (saying with utter bliss)…the person I knew as myself, who was called “[your name]” just simply disappeared! Something new came into me and took over my body! I am new! I am awake!, filled with positive energy and pure love. The weaknesses that person had before simply vanished under the strong light…the positiveness…and I am the light itself….and in fact we all are light in essence! There is no such a thing as darkness!”
And you will SEE the real world truly for the first time with your own new eyes.
Literally your sensory perceptions are now doubled…
“Colors are amazing!…Everything looks double-vividness and double-contrast. It is as if everything was enhanced by Photoshop! The colors are so rich and evoke ecstatic emotions. Leaves on trees and grasses swinging with a wind under a sun light look like as if you are looking at a motion picture shot by a high-speed camera…so ecstatic just looking at them. Oh my god…rich colors of flowers and textures….
All of these are always there but I did not know that the world was so beautiful…filled with ecstasy. The world is no longer dull and flat…In fact I cannot even remember how it looked before…”
During the time of my depression, I came to see that I will not awaken whatever I do, because what is making effort is still a part of the machine, and the machine will not awaken. An realization that the Master needs to come from outside of the machine.
This was not an easy ‘fact’ to accept – the fact that I am in a true sense a machine and therefore there is no way I can ‘achieve’ enlightenment. The enlightenment was up to the hands of god.
It took time but eventually I gave up. I gave up and accepted the fact that I will not awaken. It was a logical conclusion.
This giving up on my enlightenment, the acceptance, gave me a tremendous relief – or release, in fact, – from the greatest identification of my life – a pursuit of enlightenment.
An enlightenment is a gift. It might happen to you, or might not. And it is not something you can achieve.
I clearly understood that the enlightenment, the master, have to come from outside of myself, and all I can do is, to do my best to remember myself, day by day, applying what I have learned, do my work, and help others. And the enlightenment… is up to god.
If it is meant to happen to you, it will happen, and there is no other way.
This was a tremendous let go, giving up totally of “my” enlightenment, a deep acceptance that after all decades of pursuit, the fact that I will not and cannot awake.
The awakening happens not as a result of ‘teachings’, but it is indeed a gift, which needs to be given.
In prior to my experience on September 11, 2002, I had been in a deep depression. After devoting my entire life to Fourth Way work and making sincere effort on myself, still the enlightenment was not happening. I have done everything I could (at my best) – effort to remember myself, non-expression of negative emotions, and choosing work over anything else, etc. I became perhaps a ‘better’, ‘nicer’, and more balanced person compared to a decade ago, but the enlightenment was still not happening. I started to see the probability that I might not awaken in this life time…and this was not acceptable.
I went into a deep, deep depression. I did not commit suicide but suicidal thoughts were always there.
The only thing mattered in my life – the awakening – was unlikely to happen to me. What’s the reason to live then? Am I just going to live rest of my life, making effort, but in sleep? Is this my fate for this life time? THIS WAS NOT AT ALL ACCEPTABLE. I acted superficially fine externally but I was in a deep depression, all the way to the bottom, feeling that the enlightenment was not going to happen.
I struggled in this state for several years.
During the month preceding September 11, 2002 was indeed a miraculous period of my life.
After gave up on ‘my’ enlightenment, I lived a day at a time, simply continue doing my work, humbly. My emotion was quieter and lighter, and more in a prayer-like state.
And one day, I started to experience – a miracle.
I realized, when I am in a state of prayer, in a state of grace, when I am feeling beauty, compassion, and love, I CAN PROLONG moments of ‘being present’ – for a quite long time, compared to a standard what I could experience before. Perhaps a few minutes at a time at first.
I noticed I was able to sustain the ‘presence’ as long as I could sustain these emotional state I was in. I was definitely able to acknowledge that “I exist in the present” and able to act while staying in the present.
I experienced a warm sensation in my upper chest in these moments…emotion from higher emotional centers…
It was exciting and miraculous. I did whatever I could to evoke these emotional state – listening to fine classical music, reading poetry, looking at beautiful artwork, and prayers, and I experienced a prolonged presence.
I was able to say “I can be present and I can stay in the present!”.
And on the night of September 11, I went to bed with this prayer-like emotion, relaxed, laying down, and some minutes later I was unexpectedly filled with a whole body orgasm. I was transmuted, and a new inextinguishable awareness was born.
It was indeed a miraculous period of my life.
I always thought this quote from a movie “Shakespeare in Love” describes my September 11 experience well:
Nurse: My lady, the house is stirring. It is a new day.
Viola: It is a new WORLD!
You might think my September 11 experience marked the happy ending of my journey….
NO, not at all!
It was literally a life-or-death survival following the September 11 experience, for many years to come. Here are some of the challenges I experienced:
….It was a celebration when I literally managed to survive 1 year….
Thing is that there was no ‘post-awakening survival guide’ existed, so I needed to survive by trial and error.
Over the course of several years, the excessive energy in my body gradually subsided and balanced, and I became more proficient in not letting myself drained.
But there was still a problem…. Even though this new awareness – a master – was always there and I could be present and stay in present, I was often in a ‘quasi’ state in which I was not able to ‘definitely’ be present. A master was in the household, but only passively observing the situations (servants) from behind, so to speak. A master was not ‘in charge’ of the household yet.
It took another 14 years(!) before a master found its right position….
This indefinite ‘quasi’ state lasted 14 years, up until September 2016….
I can see now that during this period, the steward was in charge of the household, not the master. There always was a presence of the master, but he was not actively stepping forward to take control of the household, perhaps because he was not yet strong enough.
The steward was dealing with all household issues – servants’ identifications, many I’s, negative emotions, etc. And often it went out of control.
So, after 14 years, the steward cried out…
“Help! How can I manage all of this? So many strong I’s are occupying the household and I do not know what to do. Show me how to get out of this situation! I cannot keeping going like this! Help!”…..
Some weeks after the steward’s cry, I was in a state of definite self-remembering, deeply being in the present…contemplating…
Suddenly I REALIZED…
OH!!
….I AM THE MASTER…..
I AM THE MASTER HIMSELF!
I AM THE MASTER OF THIS HOUSEHOLD!
I AM THE ONE TO COMMAND!
I AM!
I AM the one to command servants in my house…
“SHUT UP! AND BE QUIET! OR GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! I AM THE MASTER!”.
And it worked!
Something has shifted in myself.
A birth of I AM Presence.
How strange that I did not realize this simple fact until now. I AM the master. The master was always in the household, but he was not aware that he is the master himself and that he has the right to command.
Finally the correct order between the master, steward, and servants was established in the household…
What a relief it was…. finally the master realized that he himself is the master.
A new beginning of my Fourth Way journey.
I AM the master, embodied. And I AM here.
We say “Soul”, but most of us use this word in an abstract, ambiguous way. We think it is “something” exist inside of us, “something spiritual” part of us, or “something” which continues to exist after we die…..
Can you pin point exactly what that is?
………
It is your consciousness.
Your consciousness IS your soul itself.
Soul is not something ‘you’ own or exist separately inside you.
Consciousness is YOU, and YOU ARE THE SOUL.
It is your I AM awareness.
It is your sense of “I EXIST”.
The master himself.
Can you feel?
When you awake, you become your soul itself.
When you are present, gently breathe in this ‘presence’.
Breathe in intentionally.
Be present and breathe in this sweetness of presence.
Let this sweetness permeate your entire body and savor the moments.
You consist of 2 parts:
A) Your consciousness = Your awareness = What observes
and
B) What is observed = Activities of your 4 lower centers, and your biology through which you perceive 3D world.
Your awareness (A) is constantly observing (B).
This 3D world exists because you are observing it, because your awareness is constantly observing what arises in your body – thoughts, emotions, and perceptions through physical senses, etc. This creates a sense of 3D world.
If there is no awareness (‘what observes’ – which is You), you will not exist. Because you have awareness, 1) you have a sense of ‘I exist’ and 2) the world – what you perceive – exists.
In ‘normal’ people, there is no separation between the awareness (‘what observes’) and what the awareness is observing. Your awareness is completely bound to what is observed. Your awareness’ attention is going 100% to what is observed. This creates an illusion that what you perceive internally (thoughts, emotions etc.) and your body are yourself. Your awareness and what is observed are one.
The Fourth Way Work is to:
1) Loosen this strong tie (identification) between your awareness (A) and what awareness is observing (B), and create a separation between them (through self-observation, non-expression of negative emotions, non-identification with thoughts etc.), and
2) At the same time practice directly to be aware of ‘what observe’ part – placing your attention on your awareness itself. Practice to be aware of your awareness. This is called self-remembering.
We tend to seek ‘enlightenment’ or ‘truth’ in the world of ‘what is observed’ – externally in sacred texts, spiritual teachings etc. and internally though meditations, psychological practices etc.
But at the end you will find all true teachings and teachers continuously point out that what you are seeking for is ‘what is seeking’ – your awareness, your consciousness itself, and help you to realize experientially that your awareness is You, through various methods.
This state of ‘I exist’ is You.
You might have thought that your consciousness is something you own, in the same way as you own your physical body. But in truth, you are your consciousness itself. You are your soul itself.
Your awareness, your consciousness is an actual ‘being’. You are a being of consciousness. This actualization – to exist as a ‘being of consciousness’ is called enlightenment or self-realization. Consciousness is not a property of your body. It is an actual ‘being’, actual existence, and that is who you really are.
It is in a way a bit comical situation – Let’s say a person, a seeker, Tom is looking for himself…. He is going around the town and asking people “Have you seen Tom?”, “I am looking for Tom”, “Do you know where he is?”… and he travels all over the world looking for that lost Tom… Until one day he realizes “Oh, the one I was searching for…is me…I am Tom…I am Tom myself….How strange I did not realize until now this simple fact…” and then he starts to live his life as Tom himself.
[Continuing from the previous post]
You exist in this 3D world. This is the enough proof that you are a being of consciousness, a souled being. You are your awareness, observing this 3D world = this is why you are experiencing the 3D world, and thus the 3D world exist.
Whether you are ‘enlightened’ or not,
whether your are ‘spiritual’ or not,
whether you are a talented special person or just an ordinaly,
It does not matter.
You all are a being of awareness, a sacred being of consciousness, walking on earth, experiencing wonderous life.
What you call “I” is an illusion. “I AM” is the real. “I AM” is not a part of centers, not a part of duality. In “I AM”-ness you sense a greater whole.
Being a Fourth Way practitioner, you have been taught and trained to be present – focus strongly on this single present moment – only to be aware of what is actually before you.
Now, while you are present, can you slightly expand your awareness and sense eternity?
Try holding the awareness that you exist in eternity. Feel what it is like.
Be present and at the same time sense moments of your life you have lived. Sense your future life you might experience. Sense your past and future lives.
Consciousness is not limited by time. This reality you are perceiving is just one slice of a whole that exist. Your consciousness is capable of perceiving more. Multi-dimensional perception is a natural state of consciousness. You just have not paid attention to it much before.
Awareness can expand beyond the perception of the present.
Expand your consciousness.
Expand your awareness into eternity.
Because you exist in eternity.
In the process of identification there is a point where if you cross you will be in the state of identification. A threshold of identification. Up to the threshold you can view your thoughts, emotions, and imagination without identifying with them. You can pull your attention back to your neutral, balanced state of self-remembering. Once you cross the threshold, parts of your centers gain momentum and you fall into the state of identification. Our work is to be aware of the threshold and not to cross the line.
Your true identity is your soul. You are soul – consciousness. You are vibration of love, goodness, compassion, bliss, joy. No exceptions.
I tell you you are love, then you say no it cannot be – because I do not feel love and I am not so evolved. Really?
What just happened was that you heard your voice telling you so, and you just did not question about it. Why do you believe your thoughts that limits you, thoughts that define you? These voices are from your lower centers. It is something you possess but it is not you. All problems are caused by identification with your voices from lower centers.
You are soul. You are love vibration. Everyone you meet is a bright, compassionate soul. Sometimes it does not appear so because they are simply believing they are their voices. Look beyond their appearances and look into their soul.
Entangled in spider webs,
Some call it life.
Too accustomed in being caught in webs,
Do not know you can be free.
Entangled in relationships with people,
in situations, in patterns.
Struggling and believing that is natural.
Finding safety in webs.
You are free.
You are the one holding onto the threads of webs.
Your beliefs and fear.
Take a deep breath and have a courage to let it go.
Only freedom is waiting.
We tend to say “I am identified with this issue and that issue”, but ultimately identification is not about external events or circumstances you are experiencing. State of identification is triggered by “You” – the Master, your consciousness, your soul – being identified with thoughts, moods, emotions, and imaginations that were produced in you as a result of external stimuli, i.e. ‘I’s from centers. External events and circumstances produce certain ‘I’s in you based on the beliefs you hold.
You can recall an analogy of the master and servants. You are the master and centers are servants. Servants present you their thoughts and opinions for your attention. Your priority as the master is to maintain your state of I AM-ness, a state of self-remembering, and be openhearted and grounded. You can dismiss servants if what they present you is not something you desire to have or it is not something benefit you. You can hold a neutral stance, being present, and just say “no thank you”. Pay special attention to the ‘I’s that provoke fear.
Choose ‘I’s that will support you maintaining your higher vibrations. Do not choose, listen to servants that bring you down, lower your vibration and states.
Remember identification is never about external circumstances. It is always about you being identified with your own ‘I’s, listening to your own servants’ voices.
We think our physical reality and manifestations are real, happening real time, but the truth is, we are already experiencing the ‘past’.
Our real leading edge of reality is where your consciousness is. ‘Do’ of creation is initiated the moment you imagine and desire.
In physical reality, you are just experiencing what you have created in your consciousness, manifested.
Thus you are going a hard way if you try to modify what is already manifested – your ‘past’ – to make changes in your life. It is far easier if you can ignore already manifested ‘reality’, and initiate a new ‘do’ of creation in your consciousness. Creation happens in your consciousness.
Love that you feel in your heart is the connection with the loved one. Whenever you think of the loved one and feel love in your heart you are actually communicating with the loved one. You are perceiving the communication as love vibration.
Communication does not need to be in a form of verbal interactions. Love is a language of no word, a means of communication through one’s heart. It is an actual language.
Mind perceives things as separate, and thus believes a communication should come from external somewhere, with intelligible words. But in truth there is literally no separation between you and the loved one. The loved one lives inside your heart so to speak. You can always reach the loved one instantly through your heart, nonverbally, bypassing your analytical mind.
We are simply too accustomed to communicate with words and have not been taught that we can communicate using our heart, nonverbally, and that it is a valid communication method.
Put your mind aside and allow yourself nonverbal interactions through your heart, with your feeling. Try not to decipher the message with your mind. Just feel the interactions.
Open and feel your heart, feel your love that is there, and communicate through your heart.
Heart is a window to other dimensions.
A conduit of light that I am.
Light of the celestial sun.
Pouring through me, into this world.
I am only a conduit.
And light flows to where needed.
My heart is joy, being a conduit.
Filled with love, …and, that is enough.
May your love for this world flow through me.
And may your light shines your earthly souls.
May your light penetrate deep into this world.
And shines your creations.
May your Will be done through me, through us.
As we are all conduits of your light.
I am love, under your light.
And that is enough.
One common mistake we make is to ‘pursue the experience’ of higher states of consciousness.
It is important and useful to be able to recognize the higher states of consciousness while one is experiencing, but we need to be careful one’s desire and effort to experience the higher states of consciousness is not from our instinctive center. The instinctive center loves to experience these unusual states of consciousness. Same as who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, the Fourth Way followers tend to get addicted to the experience of higher states of consciousness, and erroneously think that more frequently and intensely one can experience higher states, the more one is advancing in the Work.
The instinctive center can make you believe you are experiencing higher states of consciousness, when in fact, you are just experiencing the enhanced states of instinctive center awareness.
You need to be able to distinguish true higher states of consciousness and not to be deceived by the instinctive center.
In true higher states, you are heart centered and grounded, accompanied by higher emotions such as gratitude and love, whereas ones from instinctive center you feel head/mentally oriented.
It is a wrong triad if the first force of one’s effort is to ‘experience’ higher states of consciousness. In a correct triad, the first force is our desire/effort to be present and to remember oneself, and as a result one might experience higher states.
The perceiver and the perceived.
What observes and what is observed.
Your consciousness and lower centers.
Self-remembering is a blend of both,
where you are both the perceiver and the perceived,
the creator and the created.
Separation is united by Self-remembering with love.
[This article is written for myself as a rescue note, how to regain I AM when I cannot exist definitely. The article will be updated regularly]
You might notice your energy is stuck in your head, and not grounded in your body. You need to find ways to lower your energy and ground yourself and fully back into your body.
Stop the cause. Perhaps you have done things too much in sleep, too much inner considering, wrong work of centers (too much momentum in moving center, etc.)
You need to do something to activate your heart center. So that energy will come down from your head to your heart.
– Watch emotional Youtube videos. Something that makes your heart move.
– Look at pictures that make you feel sweet. Lovely animals pics, beautiful nature, etc.
– Listen music which makes you emotional. Powerful classical music.
– Collect your energy
– Massage your hands and feet.
– Lower your energy using open hand sweeping down motion, drain energy to earth.
– Listen delta wave music, and relieve tension in your head
– Electric massager
– Imagine that you are in a dream. You are living in a dream. You are in a dream. Things you see around and everything is a dream. You are safe and can move freely.
– Feel the divine light shinning from a higher dimension. You are surrounded by light.
– Meditation for grounding.
– Know that you will regain your I AM.
– Take fine impressions. Art, music.
Remember yourself always and everywhere, and do not lose yourself. Affirm your I AM always.
You are consciousness.
And enlightenment is not a ‘creation’ of consciousness.
It is consciousness becoming aware of itself, of its own existence itself, that….I AM…….oh I Exist!
In general what you are seeking is an ‘experience’ of enlightenment, to experience enlightenment, to create an experience of enlightenment.
In order for consciousness to experience something, it has to create that object outside of itself – be it a peaceful emotion, meditative state, well-being, abundance, no-mind, whatever experience it might be, it has to create it outside of itself in order to experience it.
And here, we tend to make a wrong assumption that enlightenment is something consciousness can experience as an experience.
Because of this assumption consciousness inevitably seeks and searches, makes effort and tries to create enlightenment outside of itself in order to experience it.
When you ‘do’ something, when you hope, wish, intend something, basically you are seeking to have an experience of that something. What you are doing is trying to create that something outside of consciousness so that it can experience it.
But what ‘enlightenment’ really is is, consciousness – your soul – You, becoming aware of itself, recognizing, realizing, and awakening to itself, ….a birth of I AM awareness, that I Exist!
Enlightenment is not an experience.
Enlightenment is not something you meant to ‘create’ or achieve.
This is why ultimately all searches, all practices, all efforts, and all knowledge, fail to take you to enlightenment, fail to make you achieve enlightenment, because consciousness is trying to create it outside of itself to experience it.
We are afraid of what we fear. Where does that fear come from, and why?
Is that fear real or based on imagination and your beliefs?
Is there a such a thing as a real fear?
After reading some book on light body, I was emotional, laying down on the bed at around 2 am, finding a bit difficult to fall asleep…
Suddenly I experienced an energy orgasm. A point of orgasm arose from my perineum area, and spread into my whole body…
Then the next moment, I found myself out of body…
I found myself dragged down from the bed about 3 meters away.
Then the next moment, I found myself flying in the air, about 6 meters away from the bed, flying like a man who got kicked by a Kung-Fu master.
While flying in the air, I looked at the door of the room, hoping I am not making noises and hoping my family will not wake up…because that would be a bit embarrassing…
Then the next moment, I was back in my body on the bed, experiencing a whole body energy orgasm.
My consciousness slowly shifted back to perceive ‘normal’ waking reality…realizing it was an out-of-body experience.
When a whole body organism subsided, my body was very relaxed (and sweat), and I thought…WOW! THAT WAS AMAZING!
Though I felt this experience was not really related to some spiritual development, and I did not have an active control while I was out of body, it was really an interesting experience.
I came across an expression “My consciousness”, and it made me wonder…
We often talk as if there is ‘me’ and there is ‘my consciousness’ somewhere outside of us.
…and we go mental trying to feel ‘my consciousness’ in our mind.
No.
There is only I AM, and this I AM awareness is what you termed consciousness.
It is you.
When you are present
quietly experience your I AM presence,
your I AM awareness.
This is Self Remembering.
I look upward
… or more precisely,
I sense upward…
I feel the Sun.
Do you see?
It is the Sun in the astral realm.
The astral body of our Sun.
Its divine, golden light
warmly embracing me,
like a gentle day of Spring.
I feel its love…
I relax…
This whole world – trees, birds, nature, animals…. is gently embraced and nourished by this astral light.
It is joy.
It is love.
And always present.
This Light is Life.
Every now and then
perhaps once in a decade
Let go of everything – EVERYTHING.
You have again accumulated
attachments and beliefs, entangled relationships, and spiritual teachings.
Things that you BELIEVE important.
These things that surround you
both internally and externally
both positives and negatives
DEFINE you and LIMIT you.
And after sometime
you feel choked by these definitions.
Preventing you to go forward.
You have again reached the point.
It is time again to let go.
It is time again to free yourself.
Born anew and go forward
With no definitions.
Moving forward anew with lightness.
Gurdjieff and Ouspensky spoke about A, B, and C influences. Here, “C” stands for the influence of the divine CREATOR. Engulfing Love of the Creator. Your connection with and surrender to the DIVINE.
Have you noticed,
that the Light that surrounds us,
is actually enamating from inside you?
A powerful, divine, golden Light from the center of yourself.
A Sun in your heart.
Feel this Light.
Immerse yourself in this Light.
It is an ecstacy.
Keep this awareness of the Light always.
With enlightenment, literally, your perception of light will be enhanced – not only your visual perception but also your inner perception of light. You will be immersed in light externally and internally. This will be your natural state, and you dance in the brighter world.
With enlightenment, you literally step into higher dimensions. You actually begin to exist in a higher world.
Your perception of light was enhanced because your senses interpret higher dimensions as light. And this light is mixed with love… Your heart perceiving the vibration of higher dimensions as divine love.
In-lightenment, this is what you will experience in enlightenment.
Self-observation is one of the core tools in the Fourth Way practice.
With self observation, of course, you will come to see that you are literally a stimulus-response machine. But more than that, it is a tool for self-purification.
With sincere practice of self-observation, you will learn to discern the vibrations of lower thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes in yourself, and start to see motivations and reasons behind them clearly.
You purify yourself by simply giving these lower vibrations up, by letting them go. So that you may become lighter, more transparent, and be able to hold higher vibrations – the light.
In time the self-observation will become your second nature. You will be able to sense a lower vibration in yourself immediately when it arises, and simply drop them.
The Fourth Way is a way of purification.
Your lower self will insist it is not safe to become pure, it is not safe to let it go. Have courage and keep dropping impurity from yourself. Purity is who you are.
You will find that It is much easier to live in higher vibrations, in a higher world, surrounded by the light.
One of the main habit that is preventing your enlightenment is that, you are A WAY TOO MUCH in your head listening to your thoughts, constantly thinking, planning, evaluating, analyzing, judging, and recalling the past events and replaying the same memory over and over.
YOU, the I AM, your true self, the higher center, is always present but your attention (which originates from YOU, the I AM) is always directed toward your brain, and you, the I AM is not aware of itself.
In a way your brain is trapping your attention so that you will live within the confinement of your brain and will not escape from the 3rd dimensional dualistic experience. This is in a way by the original design, so that you can immerse yourself in the wondrous 3rd dimensional dualistic experience.
But you know, nothing bad really happens if you stop using your brain so much. Nothing terrible happens if you do not keep recalling your memory. Your life does not fall apart even if you do not think about and plan your tomorrow.
Rather, your life will become much easier to live, anchored in the present, and will be filled with much more beauty every moment.
Be aware of beautiful things around you – such as flowers, trees, sunlight falling on grasses, your pets, friends, and just feel love existing here. There are full of beauty and wonder everywhere. I AM will enjoy directing its attention to these things rather than confined in your thought process.
So just drop that brain a bit. Be present. Take a deep breathe and just enjoy this moment, have a cup of beauty and love. And free your attention from the confinement of your brain.
This is how an enlightened being is.
[Continue to #2]
As mentioned in other posts, with enlightenment my visual perception became very much enhanced. My eyes now perceive everything far more vivid, rich, and with high contrast, as if they are Photoshopped. And ecstatic, enchanting feeling accompanies my visual perceptions. The world became so pretty and ecstatic.
An issue was that I used to get so fascinated by the beauty around me and often lost myself in it. In the state of fascination I was forgetting to remember myself. I was lost in the experience, and thus I was in sleep.
The same was true when experiencing a higher states of consciousness. I often lost myself in the beautiful experience of it and forgot to remember myself.
Even when we are experiencing extraordinary spiritual experiences, we need to be aware that there is something in you observing all these experiences, and this, what is observing, is the real you. The experience itself is not you. You are what observes and not what is observed.
It seems that a goal of many spiritual practitioners is to ‘experience’ higher state of consciousness, Samadhi, enlightenment, universal love, oneness, whatever they call. But many people are not aware that these are experiences outside yourself, and that the real you is what is observing these experiences. Even in Samadhi, you need to keep your self-remembering with you. Because that self is you, not the experience, even it might be extraordinary.
Enlightenment is not about reaching and experiencing these extraordinary states of consciousness, but it is a discovery, nurturing, and crystallization of real you, establishment of a permanent ‘I’, a permanent I AM awareness. And all extraordinary experiences will come along with it.
So, you have heard a word ‘God’ for over 2000 years. It has been presented as a supreme being or something similar to which we should devote ourselves and worship.
But such ‘God’ only exists in religions and stories. There really is no such entity or entities that called God. We all know that.
Then what is God really?
On occasion, especially in quieter moments when we were present, we all have felt the Is-ness of life and we were satiated with a wordless divine feeling.
We all felt this underlying current of Is-ness of life to which we can open our heart.
This divine Is-ness is the principles of life, the flow of life, the life force that permeates all existence, that we call God.
This life force, the stream of God, is all that exists.
And this is what we call consciousness.
We are the life force being aware of itself.
We are life.
We are consciousness.
We are one with all that exists.
There is only God, and we are indeed God itself.
Stop using your brain so much. Brain is a device to be used in the 3rd dimensional world. Its purpose is to limit you from perceiving higher dimensions and lock you into the 3rd dimension, so that you can explore this world in complete separation. This is why when you are identified with your brain activities – many thoughts, judgments, and fear, you dive deep into the 3rd dimension and you literally feel confined, separated, and helpless. We all know how this separation feels like. Brain creates an illusion and feeling of separation.
You are in a prison, called a human brain. You needed to use your thinking brain constantly in order to survive in this world as all you could see was your human-self alone in the 3rd dimensional world.
Of course these perceptions are all illusion.
Higher worlds are always around us. You are living immersed in the higher worlds. You are never separate from it. Simply your brain is filtering your perceptions of higher worlds out.
Presence, I AM presence is who you are, and in higher dimensions, your thinking brain is replaced by ‘Knowing’. You just know, without logical thinking. In order to perceive higher worlds you must stop thinking and ‘know’.
Your personality mind thinks.
Your personality mind questions.
Your personality mind doubts and limits.
You listen to them.
Thus you remain as you have always been, a limited human being.
YOU, the Master, instead, being in the PRESENT,
DEFINE what you are and how you are,
KNOW that you have always been so,
making it your absolute personal truth,
Thus BECOME the truth you have defined.
In the now, Master defines new and creates.
Master is free from his past, and from himself.
We tend to make things complicated, even for enlightenment.
I have come to see more and more clearly that things are actually very simple: There is only “You” and your personality self—the observer and the observed. And the entity that observes is You. That is all.
The personality self is your familiar self. It encompasses what you generally perceive as “you”: your body, emotions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, opinions, etc. and the whole spectrum of your experiences— happiness, difficulties, worrying, hope…, anything and everything that arises from your physical, emotional, and mental construct. While these aspects feel undeniably real, they are not You. They are your personality self.
On the opposite end, there is an entity that observes all these activities of personality self. This entity, the observer, is You.
In spiritual community it is often said that there are two selves within you: your lower self, and the higher or true divine self. The trouble with this description is that upon hearing it, you will likely to attempt to identify these two separate selves within you, and you will inevitably fail. While you might find your lower self, the “true self” eludes discovery because the very “you” attempting to locate the true self is the true self itself. You can’t observe the “true self” since it is the one doing the observing.
Most people only know their personality self. This is simply because nobody taught you how to recognize the true self and what you really are. You are the true self as you are, but simply you have not realized and identified yourself as the true self yet.
You are aware that you are aware. This awareness is an entity, and it is you. This unnamable existence, the sense of “I exist”, that awareness, is you.
When you are feeling beauty,
you are heart centered,
and you are present.
Your thinking brain is for a moment, still.
Beauty brings you back to this now moment.
So pause a moment, and satiate yourself with beauty in this moment, and the next moment, and the next moment…
It is much easier to remember yourself when you are in a state of beauty.
What is beauty?
It is light.
It is your perception of higher worlds.
If you ask yourself a question, “Who am I?”
You might not get an answer.
Because you immediately go into your thinking brain
and try to find an answer there.
Instead, one way to experience the answer is
to feel into “I KNOW I AM”, in your stillness.
This I AM-ness, a sense of existence you feel is you.
This is your identity – who you are.
You are becoming an enlightened Master.
Are you pure?
A Master does not cheat oneself and others.
A Master live purely in harmony with oneself and the whole.
When you feel you are impure – forcing and manipulating situations and others with your personality self’s agenda, have a courage to drop it.
Your heart desires to be pure again,
like an innocent child once you were.
Allow your heart to manifest, whatever happens, as you are always protected.
Live like a Master would.
You can live all day and everyday,
Bathed in the divine light.
Feeling graceful,
Satiated by the light that surround you.
Why will you choose thoughts, words, and actions that make you step out from this enchanting world of light?
Every thought carries a certain vibration. Feel that vibration. If it creates tightness and dissonance within you, simply release it entirely. Such thoughts are rooted in fear, lack, and limitation of the 3rd density. You need to let them go in order to be in a higher world.
(In the next post I will share an effective method how to release these thoughts)
