You might think my September 11 experience marked the happy ending of my journey….

NO, not at all!

It was literally a life-or-death survival following the September 11 experience, for many years to come. Here are some of the challenges I experienced:

• My essence was completely open and exposed to the external world without any protection by personality. I was my essence itself, like a new born baby. Any tiny negative impressions or stimuli that cause negative associations, such as other people’s negativity, negative visual images, harsh sounds, and even a slightest of my fearful thought hit my essence very hard, and caused a terrible instability emotionally and mentally, and quickly drained my energy. I was literally lucky to be alive at the end of the day… I needed to re-learn how to protect my essence.
• The wrong work of centers drained my energy very quickly, such as an unstoppable strong momentum in the moving center. Because I was filled with a large amount of energy, it was easy to fuel the wrong work of centers even more. Everyday I needed to watch myself very carefully and stop the wrong works of centers immediately when I observed.
• When my energy was drained, I felt as if my consciousness was waning, losing grasp of this physical world. It took 2-3 days for me to regain the strength, physically and mentally.
• Needless to say, if I expressed negative emotions, it drained my energy immediately, and consequence was not pretty…
• I needed to cope with my new awareness born in myself. It was very disorienting and weird state until I got used to it.

….It was a celebration when I literally managed to survive 1 year….

Thing is that there was no ‘post-awakening survival guide’ existed, so I needed to survive by trial and error.

Over the course of several years, the excessive energy in my body gradually subsided and balanced, and I became more proficient in not letting myself drained.

But there was still a problem…. Even though this new awareness – a master – was always there and I could be present and stay in present, I was often in a ‘quasi’ state in which I was not able to ‘definitely’ be present. A master was in the household, but only passively observing the situations (servants) from behind, so to speak. A master was not ‘in charge’ of the household yet.

It took another 14 years(!) before a master found its right position….